Fuck I’m walking downtown and I pass a group of guys staring at me and I think “great catcall time” but then one guy goes “you look like you could kill a man a million different ways with just your bare hands”. This. This is an acceptable comment to give a girl on the street.
- aries: short-tempered kind-hearted babies
- taurus: stubborn knucklehead cuties who are nice to everyone
- gemini: intelligent blabber-mouths w a great sense of humor
- cancer: over-emotional compassionate lil cupcakes
- leo: melodramatic fun-loving fucks
- virgo: creative whiny pissbabies who are intellectually stimulating
- libra: ditsy carefree pacifist qts
- scorpio: intensely emotional secretive bad bitches
- sagittarius: honest philosophical travel-agents who don't give a fuck
- capricorn: organized self-driven sarcastic dickheads
- aquarius: extroverted detached open-minded freaks
- pisces: sensitive lazyasses who are ideological + creatively stimulating
Okay so, where I live (Canada, Newfoundland) we have the smallest ponies.
And the biggest dogs
Here’s a size comparison for the Newfoundland dog
That is a full grown dog and pony together LOOK AT THAT!
Now if you don’t think that’s the greatest shit ever I don’t know what is!
I’m moving…BYE MOM
i have a special folder for photos of small dogs snoozing on large sleeping places
*mentioning internet friends to parents*
we went to school together before they moved away a couple years ago.. did i never mention them.. weird.. totally went to school together..
The others got Groot a new pot and decorated it.
1. I can’t get up at the crack of dawn to carpe fucking diem because I’m out five nights a week chasing laughter and the moonlight.
2. I don’t want to wake up feeling comfortable. Fuck comfort. I want to wake up and know I’ve woken up, I want to feel my life as it happens and if that means a throbbing headache, so be it; I’d rather dance in the dark than under a rainbow.
3. Eat whatever you want, idiots.
4. My breakfast happens at 1pm and I’d like to read whilst I eat it, thankyou very much.
5. I don’t need to stretch, nor do I need to reach for the sky; I am not a member of S Club 7 and my head is already in the clouds.
6. Drink all the water your body needs, put a chopped up lemon in your bottle but never neglect iced tea and vodka - whatever your poison, indulge yourself in it sometimes. Striving for perfection in any aspect of your life is just going to disappoint you; have a shot every now and then.
7. If you’re living life, you might not have time to write down your activities until four in the morning. Your life record may be scribbled onto receipts as you ride the train. That’s okay too; it doesn’t have to be beautiful to be valid.
8. Sleep on a pile of towels if you have to. Sleep in the grass. Sleep at a new friends’ place every night. As long as you’re sleeping next to something you love - whether it be a partner or the latest Palahniuk - scented fabric softener won’t mean shit.
9. Chaos can be better sometimes.
10. Run into the ocean instead.
11. You don’t owe strangers your smile. You don’t owe nature your observation. Maybe you don’t have a dog to walk.
12. Don’t make plans you can’t follow through with, it’s unfair.
14. Fuck it. Pick up a book because you liked the cover. Pick up a book because the person before you keft it behind. Scribble all over it if you want. Tear pages out and cut out words if you want. Pick up no books for a month, then ten in a day. Books will always be there.
15. Be yourself without imposing cliche’d values and movie-romance ideas onto your personality. Do what comes naturally. If you don’t want to pay your speeding fines, don’t fucking pay them, it’s your life. If you don’t like old people, don’t go and volunteer at their homes, you’ll only make everyone there miserable. Find your true bliss rather than assuming you’ll know what it is by sticking your tongue out at babies. You’ll get there, there’s no rush.
16. Don’t fucking daydream about it. Do it. Write your own ending.